I came across this story that made me blink and want to stab myself in the eye with a fork.

If it came out of the Onion or something, I’d understand, but it appears to be serious. ??

A company in Australia wants to reduce carbon emissions by KILLING CAMELS. 

Let that sink in for a second, then let me reiterate, some logistical genius wants to SHOOT camels and get paid for it.  In the name of CARBON TAX.  It wants to shoot innocent, goofy camels, no FERAL HERBIVORES from helicopters because they eat and poop, and somewhere in there produce unacceptable amounts of… carbon.

These are the kinds of stories that make me weep, and wish the human race would go extinct, because we are clearly too stupid to function.

Please see the link at the bottom, and if you have a long-distance plan, maybe give NORTHWEST CARBON PTY LTD  a call at  (08) 8362 0056 and share your fervent desire for them to painfully die of a carbon laced sand enema, since clearly growing brain cells was such a failure.

News link

Proposal

Australia, I’m sure you don’t care, but unless you pull your head out of your ass and re-evaluate this ridiculous and sad atrocity, you shall forever be on my no-travel list. And camels – I’d like to apologize on behalf of our species, but words fail me. There truly is no end to human stupidity. A quick Google search tells me that they’ve done it before – when poor parched camels wreacked havoc on small towns looking for water.  But for carbon tax? Australia, I can’t thank you enough for doing your part for climate change.

Photos of the camel from The Inadvertent Farmer who lived with a camel for many years.

Quick rant on Alberta health care. It SUCKS.  Over the years we’ve had evidence aplenty to witness delays and incompetence on an unimaginable scale, but the consequences of those events has always been mild.  Like the time my cousin broke his thumb, went and spent 7 hours waiting for an x-ray in the emergency room, was sent home and told he’s fine.  THREE DAYS later he received a call, telling him his thumb is in fact broken, they read the wrong x-ray and would he please come back for a splint?  Needless to say, by then, he was splinted up by his parents who did not trust the initial ‘go home you’re fine’, and with good cause.  Or the time my elderly grandma with a broken wrist had her ankles meticulously x-rayed. Or the time my father was given wrong medication. Thankfully none of those mishaps resulted in anything going wrong, it just made for some good anecdotes and head shaking.

This time however, the consequences came perilously close to tragedy. Yesterday morning my brother complained of abdominal pain. By ten AM it was bad enough to go to the hospital with. We all suspected appendicitis, since many in my family had theirs out.  He was given morphine for the pain and kept waiting for many hours until they finally operated. He was wheeled into surgery around eleven hours later.  His appendix was found ruptured, he had peritonitis, and was in real danger of sepsis (blood poisoning).  Now he’s on antibiotics and we only hope he’ll be okay.

Contrast this with my appendix removal which happened when I was six, and in the Soviet Union, no less. I got the sharp pain, within an hour a doctor made a house call. He rolled me over on my left side, gently pressed the abdomen, sharply released, and when I squealed he pronounced ‘appendicitis – get this girl into surgery’.  Within two hours I was blood-sampled, prepped and going under. My appedix was removed intact, and my recovery was painful but easy.

The facts are that some people die from appendicitis or related complications each year.  Some of them in Calgary. While the mortality rates are only 1-2 per million cases, Calgary hospitals manage a rate that seems much higher, with deaths every few years. 

Here’s an excerpt from www.surgeryencyclopedia.com:

“The overall complication rate of appendectomy depends upon the status of the appendix at the time it is removed. If the appendix has not ruptured, the complication rate is only about 3%. However, if the appendix has ruptured, the complication rate rises to almost 59%. Wound infections do occur and are more common if the appendicitis was severe, far advanced, or ruptured. An abscess may also form in the abdomen as a complication of appendicitis.

Occasionally, an appendix will rupture prior to its removal, spilling its contents into the abdominal cavity. Peritonitis or a generalized infection in the abdomen will occur. Treatment of peritonitis as a result of a ruptured appendix includes removal of what remains of the appendix, insertion of drains (rubber tubes that promote the flow of infection inside the abdomen to outside of the body), and antibiotics. Fistula formation (an abnormal connection between the cecum and the skin) rarely occurs. It is only seen if the appendix has a broad attachment to the cecum and the appendicitis is far advanced, causing destruction of the cecum itself.

The complications associated with undiagnosed, misdiagnosised, or delayed diagnosis of appendicitis are very significant. This has led surgeons to perform an appendectomy any time that they feel appendicitis is the diagnosis. Most surgeons feel that in approximately 20% of their patients, a normal appendix will be removed. Rates much lower than this would seem to indicate that the diagnosis of appendicitis was being frequently missed.”

Canadian politics tends to be a tame affair, without the mudslinging, drama and circus of our neighbors to the south. Most of our political spats are chump change compared to the electoral fever and rhetoric that sweeps the US and for the most part we’re proud of that. Sure we have our share of cynicism, low voter turnout and disenfranchisement from the political process, but there are pockets of governance where people elect someone they actually like and who does a good job on their behalf. Not often, but it happens.

One of the proudest things we’ve done is separate church and state in that a candidates political beliefs rarely enter the public arena and tend to have no merit on perception of their competence. Our leaders don’t have to hug the Bible/Koran/Torah as a mandatory pre-requisite to convincing the voters of their supposed righteousness, and I cannot convey how proud I am of that fact, since ethics, ability and qualifications have nothing to do with someone’s religion.

Which is why I was absolutely infuriated yesterday to see the local daily paper, the Calgary Herald, put out a story with the pathetic headline:

The thing you should understand with this mayoral election, is that religion hasn’t come into it once yet. I personally had NO IDEA what religious persuasion ANY of the candidates were until this pathetic headline which prompted such a furious outcry from Calgarians (which I’ve never been prouder of), that the paper changed their headline to a more neutral:

By the way here are some of the comments, which are awesome, and simply sorted by ‘Highest Rated’:

And the local Twitter community chimed in as well:

I just cannot express how pathetic this paper seems, given that they have to pander to the lowest common denominator through religious issues, on par with gender, racial or other pathetic forms of division that we as society are valiantly trying to move past. And from a newspaper no less, which is supposed to be neutral and impartial. The standard of neutrality should be higher on official media, shouldn’t it? Shouldn’t they be focusing on the platform of each candidate, and evaluating each one on its own merit? Is this what gives mainstream media such a bad name? Where’s my sarcasm font?

I’m not sure what kind of mayor Calgary is ready for, but it sure seems we’re ready for a new damned newspaper.

Here is a much more restrained and eloquent post expressing a similar disbelief at the Herald.

**Screen shots provided by a fellow Calgarian Rohadi Nagassar whose sites are found here.

We are wrapped up in some typical spring weather in Calgary, and by typical I mean gale force winds and alternating rain and snow. So while we wait for some sunshine to peek out from behind the clouds I wanted to share my impressions of the organic grocery delivery service that we’ve been using for a couple of years now – SPUD! The name is an acronym for Small Potatoes Urban Delivery and they arrived here from Vancouver in 2005 with current locations in Vancouver, Victoria, Calgary, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco and LA.

Running a well designed website they provide an array of organic choices aiming for mainly local producers – from fruit and veggies to bread, milk, meat and prepared foods, to cleaning supplies and personal hygiene items. While they were very fruit and veggie heavy at first, I’ve seen their lineup expand over time to include more and more convenient products. While I generally much prefer to go to a farmers market to stock up on food, there are many a time, especially in winter where such a trip is simply not happening. Left to choose sad looking veggies at the local grocery store (even if they look good I’d rather support local farmers with more sustainable practices), or schlepping across town on slick roads SPUD! Gives me a great alternative to both.

While their prices are fair to farmers, and there’s the convenience of delivery, they are often not cheap. It is not uncommon to see a single bell pepper or a zucchini hover around 2.50, especially out of season. A half pound of salad greens is typically over four dollars and organic, cage-free eggs are around six. Even when I understand deeply that the real cost of food is often not reflected at the grocery stores, sometimes SPUD!’s prices can be hard to swallow. I suppose the cashier till is where most abstract intentions to eat locally and support sustainable food break down in the face of limited budgets. I also reflect on the fact that I’m cooking for two, and our food budget is easily our largest expense outside of the mortgage. Having said that, I think we’ve developed a system that allows us to maximize our food choices for the way that we eat, and it clearly works for us.  For around a hundred dollars a week we get six litres of milk, a couple of great Hoven farm steaks, a loaf of bread, a couple heads of garlic, zucchini and mushrooms for the week, six to twelve apples, a few lemons, two to five tomatoes, sometimes cukes or green onions, whatever seasonal fruit may be on sale, occasional toothpaste or tea, or crackers or burritos or eggs, as well as hazelnuts and mac’n’cheese.  Some combination of those comprises our weekly baskets.

The best way to eat in a manner that does not cause damage to my ethical sensibilities and wallet is to deal with local farmers directly. When you purchase bulk meat from local suppliers, freeze/can seasonal produce, you mainly need milk and bread as well as some fresh stuff throughout the week. Dealing with a delivery service at the very least eliminates the many middlemen that reduce farmers’ earnings to nothing.

I love the fact that they provide pretty detailed info on some of their suppliers and you can find out who grows your food and where. I love the fact that you can buy bulk items in caselots, which is great when it’s say, peach season and they’re affordable and you want to freeze a few bags. I love the fact that they have great info on most of their products, telling you what’s in it, how to store it and how to use it. Their weekly delivery sheet has the bill on one side and a neat newsletter on the other, where they profile green websites, provide a seasonal recipe and share tidbits of news. You can find out exactly why there is a shortage of onions and potatoes – apparently it’s because farmers underplanted due to vast overproduction in previous years, or how the earthquake affected blueberry farmers in Chile. I love the fact that they interact with the community, they are on Twitter with updates and are supporting the Calgary Horticultural Society Fundraiser.  I love their reward points that you can redeem for discounts, and the fact that THEY DELIVER! Their customer service is also pretty good with prompt refunds on bad produce (only happened twice I think), and relatively quick replies to questions.

Here are some features that they don’t have, and I wish they did. Product reviews. This is elementary, and many is the time I took a chance on something and found it too… granola for me. This is especially common with some soy-based, organic, vegan-whatever foods. They are so healthy that the taste is like cardboard. The product reviews would quickly weed out the stuff that consumers actually like and the stuff that is only for the hardcore health warrior. I guess I’m a gourmand first. I also wish they carried small lot seasonal stuff. Like now all the food boards are aflutter over morels, ramps, fiddleheads, etc. Have I seen any in Calgary? Nope. This is not only applicable to SPUD! but also to all the restaurants claiming seasonality on their menus. Yeah? Where? I also wish they carried more local products that I know are good but aren’t partnered up with SPUD! for whatever reason – Lundt carrots, or Hotchkiss tomatoes for instance. I’m sure there are many reasons why certain farmers would not be a part of SPUD, but since *I* don’t know them I can only sigh. Surely there are local greenhouse farmers that grow tomatoes, they can’t all be from Mexico or wherever.

So like every business they have their good side and some room to improve. But they deliver ethically sourced products and the vast convenience of delivery. And I support them for trying for a vision where farmers get paid a living wage so that stories like the plight of these tomato pickers happens less often. Since the government blatantly disregards our votes, voting with our dollars is often the most impactful way we get heard.

WWW.SPUD.CA

In yet another example of government stupidity and shortsightedness the federal government announced the closure of the six farm programs operated by Correctional Services Canada, a decision that they reached without consulting anyone, least of all us, the little people that they are supposed to be answerable to. Canada’s inmate farm program has been operational since the 1800’s, costs less than four million to run (according to the numbers I’ve been able to find), and produces about six million dollars worth of food.

None of these numbers take into account peripheral benefits such as donating produce to local non-profits, composting facilities that reduce landfill use, acquisition of great work and life skills, and protection of valuable farm land. Which is really the crux of the issue. Because there is no good reason to terminate this program other than the sale of pricey farm land that can never be recouped or brought back. The government is citing safety concerns with the examples of several escape attempts, and without considering alternative solutions of which I’m sure there are dozens, they just closed the door on the whole enterprise.

To quote Tim Allen of CBC  ‘the idea of a prison farm is an elegant one. Inmates get to produce the food they eat, easing the burden on the public purse and, in the process, gaining experience that they can use when they get out and need to find a job.’ But according to our government the skills they gain surely can’t be important in our modern world and unnamed ‘contemporary’ occupations would be better. Never mind the fact that farming is daily work and hard work. Never mind the transferable skills it helps develop such as teamwork and consistency. Never mind the unquantifiable benefits of working with the unmovable force of nature which can’t be rushed and can undo your careful work in a heartbeat. Never mind the fact that food simply doesn’t grow on trees, it’s paid for by our tax dollars and the value of inmates growing their own is surely a benefit to us.

Never mind all that. You see the farm near Kingston Ontario enjoys 455 hectares of some of the country’s best farmland. It happens to feed the prison population and share with the food bank as well. And there’s likely a tidy profit to be made in selling off this prime land for development of more suburbia, because the government doesn’t care about farming as a valuable skill set. But it also doesn’t care about what we, as a community think either. Because the public opinion is rather firmly in favor of keeping the farms, seeing as it makes all sorts of economic and logical sense. If you read the comments attached to this CBC article it’s pretty clear that the citizens to whom the government is supposed to be accountable to really don’t see any reason to shut down these farms.  And it’s also just as clear that the govt don’t care.

But see, I just can’t reiterate this enough, the govt is supposed to be representative. And accountable to the people that elected it. I know it often sounds like a joke when you look at most government decisions, and JUST ONCE I’d like to see them do something that we collectively want to see happen. And before we get really angry and sick of the system, and perhaps move to overhaul it from the ground up, I’d like to give the government a fair chance (again), to perhaps, I dunno, follow our wishes. So I encourage you to write a quick letter to the public safety minister Vic Toews and your MP and share with him your opinion of the farm closures, whatever it may be. Here’s also a petition you can sign. That way we’ll be participating in our funny version of democracy, we’ll sleep better at night knowing we did something other than complain that no one cares, and if we don’t see the changes we want – hey at least we gave the government every chance to listen.

Here are some news links for more info.

http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/04/10/canada-to-shut-down-all-prison-farms/

http://www.agrinewsinteractive.com/fullstory.htm?ArticleID=10000&ShowSection=News

http://www.cjly.net/deconstructingdinner/070209.htm

http://www.thewhig.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=1736318

I know, I’ll make a YouTube video!  Kidding.

Never did I think that those words would come out of my mouth, but there’s one of life’s surprises for ya. For the record, I can’t stand Ann Coulter, she’s too easy to make fun of on every level – from the superficial to the intellectual, except for there’s nothing intellectual about her, so never mind that. But really, she makes it too easy. And she’s already hated in the blogosphere with the hatred reserved for child molesters, so I won’t be joining their clamor.

But she’s recently been on a tour of Canada, starting in Ontario where she had to cancel an appearance due to ‘security concerns’, and now she’s enroute to my cold fair town of Calgary to give a speech tonight. If there was anyplace in Canada where she would not be tarred and feathered it would be in this bastion of conservatism, and even here she’s polarizing enough to prompt some pretty unflattering comparisons, an outcry on social media sites and a Facebook group dedicated to forming a human wall to prevent her from speaking. TO PREVENT HER FROM SPEAKING! People, this is ludicrous and contrary to the notion of free speech AND common sense.

A part of what constitutes adulthood is the ability to develop discernment and judgment and freedom to make one’s own decisions. To that end we are free to choose what concerts we attend, where we dine and who’s speeches we listen to. If someone wanted to ban a rock concert from coming to town because THEY didn’t agree with the lyrics, we’d be pretty pissed off and say stay home, right? Why would we not extend that courtesy to the people who want to listen to her speech tonight, whether out of curiosity or whatever. (And believe me, the irony of Ann Coulter speaking about free speech should make you laugh, not bother you. ) All I’m saying is that she’s entitled to her opinion, and we are entitled to either listen to it or not, agree with her or not. Nowhere does that include saying ‘you can’t come here and talk’.

All I’m saying is if you don’t want to see her speech – stay home. It’s hard to preach anything to an audience of one, and I’m sure most of her audience will be there either out of morbid curiosity with which we observe train wrecks, or to try and argue with her in person. But to deny her the right to speak – well people need to get over themselves. Until she takes her hate speech to the level of calling for direct action of causing someone harm, she’s entitled to her opinions, no matter how misguided or offensive. So all ya ‘protesters’ need to get over yourselves and your belief that your opinion overrides hers. Stay home. Don’t listen. And if you want something to really get worked up about, sit there and ponder why the government thinks it’s a better steward of your money than you are.

PS – Stay home – is not a ‘tactic’ that you need to exercise to make her go away. It is YOU exercising YOUR rights, without infringing on the rights and freedoms of others.

Living in Canada I am often exceedingly frustrated at how much online content is not available here simply because of some arbitrary geographic restriction and outdated modes of thinking on parts of both the content providers and our very own governmental regulations. From TV shows to music files to the latest Olympic coverage I am often confronted by the screen-of-death error message that tells me I’m in the wrong part of the world to be able to watch whatever it is I was looking for. And that just pisses me off to no end. Take the latest Olympic coverage – last night I missed some event or another because I have a life occasionally and can’t be glued to the TV all day, so I optimistically thought I’d catch it online. Except for that didn’t work. Cause you see the International Olympics Committee has some sort of asshat restrictions on who is allowed rights to broadcast online in each country, so if I’m not mistaken it’s NBC in the states and CTV here. Except for CTV’s video page has all sorts of asinine clips available like someone’s workout routine and lame interviews and such, but not very many videos of the actual events where those athletes do whatever it is they do to merit an interview. I mean does anyone really go on their site to watch them light the cauldron or the opening essay, both of which are prominently featured on their sparsely populated video page? I sure don’t. I go to see actual coverage of actual events both past and present except for the content is not there. I’m sure NBC’s site has what I’m looking for (US sites in general seem to be much more on the ball about digital content), but due to asshat Canadian restrictions they can’t stream them here. See the pattern?

So in this supposedly free digital age of endless information there are oh so very many instances where people around the world are excluded from the conversation and participation by their very own governments and third party agencies that should not be allowed to have any say in who watches what when and where. It smacks of paternalism and results in mass frustration and leads users to either find the content illegally or fume silently. Perhaps once upon a time this may have made sense as many shows aired in the US much earlier than other countries and restricting online content until after the show aired was only prudent, but in this day and age of the modern media environment it seems like a throwback to the ridiculous protectionist policies that permeated earlier decades. The Olympic events already happened after all.

In my frustration I know I’m barely scratching the surface of the battle for digital freedom. Google’s skirmish with China shone a bit of a spotlight on the issue, and right now the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement (ACTA) is being negotiated between the US, Europe, Canada, Australia and Japan cloaked in secret negotiations and shady repercussions ranging from border searches to ISP providing information about suspected copyright infringers without a warrant. If you want to read some real scary discourse check out these posts by Michael Geist – the Canada Research Chair of Internet and E-Commerce Law at the U of Ottawa, and this brief by the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Perhaps it’s just my small-government (yeah I know, I live in the wrong country) and free market sensibilities but the fact that these policies are hammered out behind closed doors and seem to cater to corporations irk me if not outright scare me. The fact that anyone feels like they have the right to dictate when and where I can watch or listen to digital content strikes me as absurd. And the fact that CTV can’t get their site to join the 21 century is just pathetic.  I know that despite all the rhetoric we don’t live in anything approaching personal freedom but it sucks to be disillusioned this badly about the digital frontier.

I’m back. Literally and figuratively. Since working non-stop since mid-December, celebrating a birthday and taking a quick week off to jaunt over to a slightly warmer but much prettier British Columbia, I am finally easing back into my slightly boring but predictable schedule. Over the last few weeks I ate a ton of food, skied a ton of slopes, ate some very expensive jam (which I will tell you about in due course), read some great books, and in general kept myself all too occupied, which happens to be one of my least favorite things to do. I enjoy my downtime and go out of my way to plan a life where I have plenty of it.

But in the meantime I was looking at this picture of a bunny I took some weeks ago, and pondering the huge abundance of wildlife that shares with us this land called Canada. It’s kind of hard for people here to understand, but this is one of the very few places in the world where animals and humans share any kind of space voluntarily. In most countries the only birds you see are pigeons and the only animals the stray cats and dogs skulking in the streets. The rest are scarce to the point of extreme rareness and reticence.

Many people that move here cannot believe that rabbits and deer are frequent visitors within the city, fearlessly venturing on our lawns and hopping our fences. That squirrels are not only common, but cheeky, and that folks routinely name the chipmunks that drop by to pilfer bird feeders. They are astounded to hear coyotes howling at night, and see huge elk crossing the highways, never mind the foxes, ducks, geese and many other denizens of any average Canadian neighborhood. Certainly no bears have ever entered their hospitals like they did here a while back, and no animal crossings are built so that critters can cross the highways safely.

The reason animals shy away from people in most of the world is because they are prey there, and feel it keenly. The plump ducks, geese and rabbits would quickly be poached by families thankful for a free dinner, deer would be poached too, never mind the season, fish would be caught until there’s none left, and the predators would simply be exterminated. Not that North America doesn’t have those tendencies from time to time, but overall animals fare much better here than elsewhere.

It’s funny to me how we mourn the animals that have to be shot due to posing a hazard to people and whose numbers drop as we take over their habitat, but as soon as an enterprising species acclimatizes itself to living around us we call them a nuisance, like the unfortunate seagulls, pigeons and gophers. Methinks we’d be better off celebrating their adaptable natures that ensure their survival and take the occasional inconvenience they pose with humor if not grace.

First off,  I wanted to say sorry for not posting this week, I’ve been under the weather, and had an exam to write, and a relative to send off to Malta, and nothing new is happening in the garden, other than champion weeds. I’ve been busy, really busy, balefully glaring around the house and yard at all the chores that need doing and that are decidedly not getting done. Which inspired this post.

The world is divided into many dualities of people, but two of the most common that I encounter are the doers and the slackers. I admire the doers, I really do, they are the people that get it done, the putterers, the fixers and the workers. They are the ones that can’t sit still, they must be tinkering, fixing, polishing and improving. They are great to have on hand – they are often pretty organized, fully domesticated, they clean and cook and repair like Martha Stewart on crack. They are awesome.

Then there are the dedicated slackers. They like to sleep and do it like an Olympic medal is at stake.  They love lounging time, in front of the tube or with a book, and will dedicate great lengths to the pursuit of comfort. They are happy chilling out with a drink in the evening, feeling like they earned it after working all day, while their partner has hours of energy to spare and wants to get some weeding in, or maybe run a quick marathon.

I fall somewhere in the middle and it causes some conflict for me. My nature falls firmly into the lazy camp, I am not a person that thrives on being busy, and if I have more than one commitment on a weeknight, I panic about the sleep I’d miss. I love leisure more than just about anything, and I often wish I could clone myself, twice, to do all the things that need doing that I don’t feel like doing.  Sometimes I attempt to go against my better nature and force myself, literally kick myself, out of the house into the great yonder to try a new activity, or do something outdoorsy, or just go for a beer on a weeknight.  It often pays off too – I took up skiing last winter, and discovered an amazing new sport that I did not for a minute, think I’d like.  But too often I get worn out just by the act of existing, sitting for eight hours at work, plus a long commute and arrive at home wiped out, ready for a nap and an easy dinner. Even doing the things I enjoy sometimes requires a mental kick to get rolling.

However, that lazyness stops a few steps short of the kingdom of slack. For one, I love me a clean house, and while I’d love to relax while the dishes are piling up, the laundry is overflowing and the floors need vaccuming, I can’t. I’d rather suck it up, sacrifice some time and get it done, so I can relax with a clean conscience until it all starts to build again. Another area where it breaks down is career. A truly lazy person is not very ambitious. Of course they would enjoy the benefits of an easy jobs with a  great paycheck, but if it takes too much work to get there they won’t bother. I bother. Part of it is professional pride and a part of it is the very tangible increase in quality of life that money can buy. Let’s face it, whether you’re earning a little or a lot, you’re likely working the same 35-40 hrs a week, so why not earn more? And while I love vacations, my idea of a good time is not drinking by the pool. I have a deep desire to see the place that I’m visiting. To soak in the atmosphere that shapes its citizens, to see the ruins and houses and cafes, to visit a store and a farmers market, to explore local flavors and see a glimpse of their lives. At a leisurely pace, of course.

Sometimes I walk the line between leisure and ‘getting crap done’ just fine. Sometimes I’m composed and in the moment, which is the only way to live of course, as I do the household chores, maintain the garden or plan a weekend. Other times the balance gets skewed, and I chafe with frustration at the demands on my time, which I want to do spend doing nothing. On some level I realize that all the little running around we do is ultimately meaningless, just a way to stay busy, distract yourself, and take time away from simply being. Other times it feels like life is not to be wasted, and I should just manage time a bit more effectively to keep it running smoothly and ultimately do more, and get more out of doing.  And I envy the happy tinkerers who itch to clean the house, organize the pantry and do some canning while they’re at it, cause that gene passed me right by.

I work in a downtown office like thousands of people.  Sadly I’ve been in this environment for several years now, and soul-sucking as it may be, it pays the bills and indulges my many and varied interests. It also sucks away much time and energy to indulge those interests, but that’s a different rant altogether. Most of the time I’m a very laissez-faire person, pretty unflappable, and while others indulge in the exciting office drama of missing staplers and corporate take-over rumors, I just sit quietly and watch the action. But. There are some things that just escape my comprehension, and it’s just been a week where I feel the need to get it off my chest.

• People who lick their fingers before rifling through a stack of printouts: keep your mouth germs to yourselves please. I will go through the trouble of reprinting my work rather than touching the saliva tainted papers. Seriously, why?

• People who don’t wash their hands after bathroom breaks. I’ve read tons of blogs that point out that this is sadly rather prevalent in male bathrooms. Well, I’m here to shatter some illusions and tell you that it ain’t that different on the other side.  Most people at least have the courtesy to limit that behavior to when they’re alone, but several times in recent months I’ve heard the telltale flush, exit… and the door opening. There isn’t enough Purell in the world to get rid of that feeling of contamination.

• Office cleaners that don’t clean. At all. I mean, it’s a pretty common complaint all over offices. The property mgmt company hires some huge company, that’s staffed exclusively by new arrivals with more problems on their minds than making sure they diligently wipe down that sink for five bucks an hour.  I get it. But it has been my belief that they really don’t do anything other than remove garbage. They may push the vacuum down the middle of the hall, and lift up the toilet seats in the bathroom in an attempt to convince us of their cleanliness, but my office is certainly not graced with said vacuum very often, nor are the really gross bits ever touched, like doorknobs, faucets, and the bathroom floor.

• Stay home if you’re sick. No, contrary to your inflated sense of self-worth the world will not stop spinning if you’re not here to prop it up. But if you feel the need to drag your red-eyed self here and sit slumped in a cold drug coma, then have the decency to stay out of my office while you bond with your viruses.

Whew, it’s been a week. While often I marvel at the human diversity on this planet and ponder how people who share over ninety-nine percent of their DNA can be so vastly and uniquely different, there are many other times when all I can do is shake my head. Some unique snowflakes just have their own special place in their minds. And my patience for stupidity is getting weaker and weaker with age. God help me, I’m going to be worse than Maxine if I should live that long.